Wednesday, May 02, 2007

full house+full house=

(not Olsen quadruplets)

WARNING- do not play tricks on the movers. Their physical and emotional environments may be fragile. Provoking may lead to evil eye and/or recruitment for heavy lifting.

Moving is an exercise in patience, restraint, humor, reflection and fore arm development. It's official. We, the temporary guests of the former residents of 545 are now the guests of the new residents of 527.

Yesterday was dedicated to furniture disassembly, stair navigation, finger and toe protection, re-assembly, placement, feng shui adjustments, and keeping at least some comments to myself. Because by late afternoon, no one wants to hear that the bookshelf might fit better in the other room but only if we swap the chairs and carry the other rug up from the basement.

You are, no doubt, familiar with the routine. For entertainment and mathematical value, let me see if I can illuminate some of the complications of this particular move.
**household A (that's us) will move to house B.
**household B will move to Mozambique, leaving a house full o'stuff.
**C will move into the newly vacant A home, leaving behind a passive aggressive, or possibly misunderstood housemate who will not be part of our story.

House A, a two bedroom + basement, accommodates approximately 5 beds, 2 1/2 couches, 3 desks, 2 steamer trunks, a full collection of kitchen ware, 6 pets (of the bird, rabbit, & cat variety), 8 lamps, 600 pounds of books, a $2,000 Lego investment, and multiple junk drawer and basket habitats for rubber bands, chop-sticks, band aids, semi-precious ear rings, photos of holidays gone by and vitamin samples. In other words, A is a fully established household with refrigerator magnets of it's own.

House B
, a four bedroom + basement, provides lodging for a complete dining set, 2 tastefully overstuffed chairs, 6 filing cabinets, 100 selections of art (including a bathroom with 16 pieces of wall art), 4 very tall bar stools, 9 shelves, 3 bike tire pumps, a dozen pillows, 3 dressers, and all the counter top appliances you might expect of a well developed residence.

I've been checking in with Mr. Meyer now and then which may have aided my pre-move calculation. I estimated A+B= Not Pretty. But moving is not about approximates, so we followed the procedure, showing our work along the way. Sure enough, we proved that A+B equals something well beyond the parameters of a single household. We've reached maximum condiment levels, exceeded our capacity for household cleaning products, and can serve as the towel-window for summer pool season.

Along comes C. Maybe C is in the suffering a mustard shortage. Maybe the former housemate (making an unexpected appearance here) demanded extreme move-out cleaning, leaving C short glass and multi-surface cleansers. Muffin tins. Maybe she'll need to borrow some for a couple of years.

**note- The variables of this equation include- primary residents absent from both A and C; semi-strangers organizing your kitchen; a massage studio (featuring daily appointments) located in B; kid help; reluctant pets; relatives visiting from out of state; house-sitting across town the day after moving in; a 7'x4' desk; neighbors who comment on every other wagon load o' stuff; the gas shut off (no stove/hot water); consensus/sighs/arm wrestling for deciding vote on placement of key furnishings.

Tomorrow brings round two of the little stuff' the candles, dusting cloths and photo albums. We'll color coordinate floor coverings, sort trinket filled shoe boxes and search high and low for the missing can opener or tea pot.


Anonymous said...

I want more info on the passive aggressive or perhaps misunderstood roommate as i feel that i have some sort of a connection to someone who is described as such

owlhouse said...

Well I haven't met the roommate- so anything I share is third hand gossip. Something about "don't take my jars" and "when are you gonna get your food outta here?".
But maybe that was flawed communication for "I'm really going to miss you..."?

Rumor has it there were pre-move incidents that inspired the change of address.

What's your story?